As I walk into this new chapter of my life I am scared shitless.
Scared of what I will have to reopen and face, as well as scared of the immensity of growth and expansion that is going to occur.
The pain, hurt, sorrow, shattered pieces, broken hearts, loss of trust, harsh words, negative emotions, so much that was buried down deep, shoved away, and put aside in the moment for the need to simply survive and keep my head above water.
Well now it all resurfaces to be purged and forever moved out, transformed, and forgotten.
Sitting at the waters edge not wanting peer down for the fear and knowing I haven’t liked my reflection. Is it too soon to look? Have I waited long enough, processed through enough, and shifted enough things for that reflection to be more friendly yet?
As I slowly tip toe my way forward in the direction I know I am meant to be going, the gentle knowing I have yet to fully step forth lingers. And its these gentle whispers that I know are truth.
So what does fully stepping forward look like?
What do I want it to look like?
These are the questions.